| Have you heard
about the baby born in the high-tech delivery room?
- It was cordless.
Q. What
does an orthopaedic surgeon call the heart?
A. A soft tissue organ
for pumping cefuroxime around the body.
Q. What do you call 2 orthopaedic surgeons reading
an ECG?
A. A double blind trial.
Q. What is the difference between God and an orthopedic
surgeon ?
A. God doesn't think
he is an orthopedic surgeon.
Q.What did the patient say to the annoying doctor
during Liposuction surgery?
A. Doc, you're really
starting to get under my skin!!
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Neurotics build castles in the air.
Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists are the people who collect the
rent. |
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Suggestion for the Automated Switchboard of a Psychiatric
Hospital.
“Thank you for calling.”
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press '1' repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone else to press '2'.
If you have multiple personalities, press '3', '4', '5'
and '6'.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want; just stay on the line and we will trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice
will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you
press, we won't answer your call anyway.
(If you are a GP, forget about referring a patient because
there aren't any beds.) |
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